Derek DelGaudio’s In and of Itself (2021): Who are You? Who am I?

In and of Itself is an exploration of the mysterious, perplexing concept of personal identity, in the format of a mesmerizing public performance. Derek DelGaudio is a virtuoso practitioner of close-magic, which is to say a slight-of-hand artist who can do incredible, seemingly impossible things with a deck of cards – astonishing even to skeptical observers sitting close by, trying to catch him at his tricks. Here, he is as much a storyteller and seer as he is a magician. While he performs astonishing feats of magic during the course of his performance (and not only with cards), DelGaudio’s primary aim is not to dazzle his audience; rather it is to open us up to possibilities, to new understandings of the world and of how we think about ourselves. He does so brilliantly, touching our sense of wonder and our emotions along the way. 

In fact, I’ve watched the film twice a few months apart, and I was blown away each time. Nor am I alone in this reaction. Friends who’ve seen In and of Itself have all loved it. 

As have the critics. Take Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times: “It's a tribute to [this] amazing and fantastically perplexing and singularly mind-blowing film that even though a few of the feats performed by magician/actor/storyteller/performance artist Derek DelGaudio in his one man show could be explained away by the use of special effects (which DelGaudio does not employ as far as we can tell), most of it just seems - Magical.”  Yep.

Identity is an illusory notion, wrapped up as it is in so many other related ideas - like character, reputation, consciousness, self, personality, aspiration, occupation, status, and much more. In fact, the catchphrase for the film of In and of Itself is “Identity Is an Illusion.” Maybe, but it is a construct that carries a lot of meaning for each of us. As children, we are asked: What do you want to BE when you grow up? As adults, we ask each other: What do you DO?, as if we are our occupations - or any one thing. We each have some belief in or notions about our own identity, however muddled or confused these may be - and whether a source of pride, regret, and/or pain. We label ourselves and wonder how others may label us. 

The film documents DelGaudio’s one-man show, also called In and of Itself, which ran for 552 performances in a 150-seat off-Broadway theater from 2016 to 2018. As patrons enter the theater lobby, they are faced with a long wall containing well over a thousand small cards, perhaps 2” x 4” each, on pegs. Each card starts out with the words I AM in a big, bold font on top, followed by a description of a role, personality type, or profession at the bottom in smaller lettering – things like teacher, cobbler, mystic, drama queen, leader, observer, single mom, pain in the ass, father, companion, and so on. Each patron gets to pick a card, presumably with a label somehow meaningful to them, before entering the auditorium. The cards set the stage, so to speak, for what comes next. And they are the basis for one of the most incredible sections of the show in its final act.

DelGaudio is the opposite of flashy. He takes the stage in a modest brown 3-piece suit – no flashy jewelry or anything other than his centrality at the front of the room to draw attention to himself. His mien is serious. At first, he says nothing, just looking around and, it seems, thinking about how to begin his presentation. He proceeds to tell a story about an experience he had sometime in the past, an encounter in a Spanish bar, that soon takes the form of a fable. It’s a strange story at first – enhanced, as is the show as a whole, by a musical soundtrack that implies an air of mystery. [The music is by Mark Mothersbaugh, a most prolific composer whose films include Rushmore (1998), The Royal Tannenbaums (2001) and Thor: Ragnorak (2017); he is also a founding member of the rock band, Devo.] DelGaudio tells his tale soberly, undramatically, with several pauses in the narrative – as if he is himself trying to process what happened by telling it - all of which serves to emphasize the seriousness of his intent. Throughout, the audience remains rapt with anticipation, not wanting to miss anything. And indeed, over the course of the ninety-minute show, this fable turns out to be integral to DelGaudio’s presentation – a blend of memoir, magic and a contemplation of what it means to be human.

Maybe ten minutes into the presentation, DelGaudio takes a bottle from its place on the wall behind him, removes an attached label-sized piece of paper, four inches square or so, and quietly folds it into a tiny paper boat – I’d guess an inch and a half long. He uses this in a cool little piece of magic, without fanfare or flash, and then continues on with his storytelling. As I’m watching, however, I see this little bit, and my brain goes: wait, whoa!

A little further along, he tells us about how he got into the slight of hand business, what it takes to master the art of card handling and learning how to cheat at cards so perfectly that no one can catch you in the act – an especially important skill if you value your life.  All the while he is nonchalantly handling a pack of cards and doing brilliant things, while continuing to speak to the audience in his same sincere, unshowy, yet revelatory manner. The theater audience continues to seem enthralled by all this, hanging on Del Gaudio’s every word – as am I, for one, watching at home – as much on the basis of his assured, quiet showmanship as on his astounding skill with the cards.

In and of Itself  (show and movie) was written and performed by DelGaudio and directed by Frank Oz  [Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Little Shop of Horrors, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels]. While primarily a record of the show, the film comes with some cinematic enhancements to connect us with the experience of being there. For example, when an audience member is asked to participate in one way or another, we may get a quick montage culled from previous performances showing several different people making their way down to the stage, or “assisting” DelGaudio there, or otherwise reacting to the proceedings. There are also periodic camera pans of the audience, and at one point late in the proceedings, DelGaudio literally walks through the audience.  At these moments, we may notice that, sprinkled within the crowd are a few celebrities who’ve come to admire DelGaudio’s work – folks like magician David Blaine, journalist Ronan Farrow, designer and Project Runway host Tim Gunn, Microsoft magnate Bill Gates and others (none of whom are announced or ballyhooed in any way, so you may or may not notice them); but mostly we can relate because the faces we see are just ordinary folks - or as we eventually come to realize, an audience of individuals, each undoubtedly extraordinary in his or her own right.  So are we all, DelGaudio seems to be saying. 

As the show progresses, the stories become more personal, as do DelGaudio’s themes. In addition to conceptual stuff, such as identity and the mysteries of “self”, these touch on how societal labels and prejudices affect us, our tendency to hide parts of ourselves from others for self-protection and how we may underappreciate our uniqueness and our importance to others. Some of this material, particularly the sections involving audience members, is so extraordinary as to feel uncanny and leads to some remarkable, thrillingly moving moments – which I will not describe because you have to see and experience it for yourself. DelGaudio has called his show a ‘theatrical existential experience”. For me, the only word for it is magical, which I mean in the most emotionally personal and positive way. 

If you are looking to see an amazing, thought provoking and uplifting picture, see Derek DelGaudio’s In and of Itself. It gets my WOW rating!

90 Minutes

Grade: A+

Streaming exclusively on Hulu. [Hulu has a 30 day free trial, so you can check out Derek DelGaudio’s In and of Itself and their other streaming options free of charge.]